Thursday, February 03, 2011

Out from work... for good

Hi baby!
Mommy is resigning from her work today. Too bad. The administration said it is not a good example to have someone like me-- someone who knows nothing about moral obligations. I should have fought for my right but I rather not stress myself. Besides, the working environment is already a stress, I don't want this "conflict of moral obligation" to add more to it. Your Dad and I had made our decision, there will be no wedding bells first but that doesn't mean we don't love you. We are actually doing this for your own good. Later you will understand. We're planning to get married but not so soon. Rest assured, baby we will be there for you no matter what it takes us.

I hope you know this is not easy. It's not because I love my work but I needed the work so I can provide for your needs too. But I love you more baby, I have to leave my work.  Daddy can't be the only one working for us. I'm sorry baby...I hope I can figure things out for the three of. 

Don't worry baby, you should know how happy we are for having you right now despite we feel a little worried and sad. You will never be blamed, we will never regret for having you
Starting today, there will be no more dirty white worn-out shoes. Its not that I’m going to buy a new one just exactly planned but simply because there is no need for me to wear those anymore. But let’s not talk about those old shoes I left on a shoe rock three days ago. Maybe it wasn’t there anymore, maybe the housekeeper already have trashed them.  So let’s just forget those 6-month old shoes I wore, that was the cheapest of all that I got but it protected me from the slippery floor.  On that afternoon, I felt my shoes for the last time, feeling so sorry that I can never wear them anymore. It may not feel right, but it should be soon. 
Today, as I walk my way to that company to hand them my resignation letter, I wast thinking of the people who undeniably been good enough for me, the strict management who disciplined me in any way, more of those smile from people I speak and mingle with from time to time between serious office hours—I’ll miss them as I am missing my old shoes. Despite those mindless days, yes, I am somehow missing them. 
But the feeling weakens each time I think of the real reason why I have to feel this missing-thing. This is actually all about “moral obligation” I needed to render to be accepted by them. An obligation that is, should have good reason and should be in right time. And to clear this out, time I mentioned will not be based just on their judgment and reason will not just because it should be according to today’s norm.

So I decided not to be morally obliged because I have enough reason not to and because it’s not time yet.  

My assurance though, someday I will because I know my obligations. Will come to that the soonest we could. Time and reason will help us.

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