Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Something to warm:)

Hi baby! 
I continue to prepare myself for your arrival :) Today I gathered all the baby clothes of your cousin Judiel Ian. We are actually lucky to borrow few pieces of comfortable clothing :)
I'm sorry for not buying you new clothes, but I was thinking babies like you will grow so fast in the first three months so there are chances to just outgrown them. We'll save for other necessities instead of buying new clothes.

I hope you know that this will not make you less valued, we are excited for your arrival and preparing things, may it be borrowed or newly purchased, won't change our excitement.

See you soon baby :)

Friday, June 24, 2011

awkward stage

Hi baby... I'm praying for you at this very moment. I been having a mild contraction these past few days and is currently suffering for some lower back pain, I hope you don't feel the pain and you're just fine. 

Anyway, I took some pictures of me early this morning...Look at your mommy! I gone so big since we arrived here at Aklan. I change a lot and I look like more of a giant whale today. "Balyena!" haha... I'm feeling ugly too.

Some of my friends keep on asking me if its going to be a twin, but an ultrasound revealed (from the very start) there’s only one little angel inside my tummy so that only means you are really big. Or perhaps I really gained a lot of weight. Either way, the fact that this only means you had fully grown by now, despite having two more months left, is a good feeling.

Again, I still have two more months to take pleasure with the moments of having you inside me. This pregnancy is really amazing and is something I would never trade for anything. I am still thankful for those great moments like the day of the first glimpse, the day I realized a little creature invades my system (who is obviously going to be the most wonderful), the first time I heard of your heartbeat and feeling the first movements. Well, Every moment is actually worth remembering but those are the "first times" that I felt so proud of myself because I know you're alive.

Today is another wonderful day.. another glimpse of you. You are so adorable.I finally saw you on the monitor and you have fully grown and a well-defined baby. You got your eyes, nose, lips. chin, head, extremities, spine. So relieved, although we still don't know your gender, your Dad and I are very happy that you are perfectly fine.I guess you are one conservative little angel that you prefer not to show us your gender, you are trying to hide it with your lower limbs. :) I'm taking it as a surprise for us.

Too bad, the picture isn't look like the one I saw.I want to show your daddy how adorable you are.

Anyway, I'm sorry I named this blog "Charlotte" because I want to believe that we are having a princess in you. but if I'm wrong, don't worry because my love will remain just the same. Rest assured that I will never be disappointed on whatever you will be. I am actually thinking to name you with "Christopher" if you're a boy. 

30 weeks and 2 days AOG, ~1.840 grams, 158bpm, Grade II posteriorly implanted, EDD on August 30, 2011
You might wonder of what my prayers is all about. I am on a pre-term labor again. It saddened me and again I'm scared that you'll be harmed. I don't know if its me, is something wrong with me. I felt sorry for this.

I am excited to see you but please not so soon. I'm still willing to wait. Having you this early is a complete risk for your health and there is a tendency of losing you. I don't want that to happen. I always wanted to watch you grow, to run after you, to be there on the first of your school, to be the most proud mom in all your achievements, I want to guide you, to protect you, to support your life. So please be strong. We want you.

So right now, I am again confined to bed rest and I have to undergo medications that will delay further contractions perhaps even until the 34th week. but it will be good if I could deliver you in exact term.

I'm praying for you. I Love you Forever!!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Tiny One




I still wonder what you will be, maybe a boy or perhaps a girl. However I am more concern on how well did you go, I hope you're doing well inside me and you are perfectly fine. No matter what you may be, I'll love you just the same.
I can't wait to see your tiny face. I can't wait to place you a tiny kiss upon your tiny nose. I can't wait to see your tiny little eyes sleeping and wide awake. I can't wait to hold you very close to me. I can't wait to hold your tiny hands and count your tiny toes.

I can't wait for the day you'll make my day with your simple smile. I'll see you soon in less than two months time. 

I love you so much baby.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Bliss


Tiny movements like tiny kicks
Tiny baby, a mother’s bliss
Can’t wait to give the tiny you
Huge hugs and lots of kisses too
 
What tiny dreams you might have now?
I would understand someday, somehow
I dreamed last night, your tiny face
An angel indeed, made from God’s sweet embrace
 
How else would mommy know?
How much her tiny little angel has grown?
How else would mommy guess?
If  her little angel  have some requests?
 
I know that somehow you could now hear
Oh, what a thrill you will bring us here!
Now hush my baby, it’s time to rest
Inside my womb, your own calm nest
 
May God help me to keep you safe
And always keep you strong, I pray
I love you right before I planned you
And I love you more now that I have you

Sunday, June 19, 2011

update on how I look

 Whew! kind of hesitant in taking pictures. getting really really big. There, I'm  trying to find a good pose so I'd look better than I am in person :D
 

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Heading Towards the Finish Line

Hi baby, Mommy's crazy thought for today. Please know that despite this worries I am still happy and still amaze for having you... Iloveyou more each day baby.
I'm on my last trimester with less than 10 weeks until the estimated date of delivery—sixty seven more days to go. I am looking forward to embrace the beauty (as well as the other side of it of course) of parenthood.

Sleepless and Midnight trips to the bathroom to empty my bladder became my way of life this trimester. Getting a good night sleep became difficult again. My bumpy belly (bigger than before) brings no comfort.  That’s why I’m here blogging this early (it's four in the morning).

I’m very excited at the same time a bit impatient about meeting my child. The wait is longer than it seems. I can’t imagine myself waiting for another 10 more weeks.  Taking too long...
Along this waiting are my questions and fears. I can't pretend everything is fine. I have worries, too.

My “seem to be endless list of concerns” include…  

1. The fear of the unknown. While people around me are so eager to know of my baby’s gender. I am, on the other hand, is quite worried if my child is normal. Being once in a class of embryology, paediatrics, Obstetrics, gynaecology, genetics I am aware of certain possibilities. I wonder from day to day if my baby will be and is perfectly fine. 

2. The possibility of having serious complications during delivery aside from developmental failure. I’m praying for a trouble-free birth.

3. If I can cope up the pain of labor. What if I’ll collapse?!?  I’m just holding on to the fact that millions of women survived labor and delivery pain.Pain is temporary... It is! it really is! 

4. Financial aspect is getting on my way. I think of diapers, formula, clothing, bedding, cribs, toys, and much more. I should be preparing them, but I haven’t started yet. I wanted everything done before the baby arrives but we need to save for hospital bills and emergency medical cases instead.

5. Relationship with my partner, family and friends. My baby will surely bring changes. A lot of changes. I hope I can handle the pressures other than the things I listed on my post Bits and Pieces of me --things I already accepted that those will no longer be part of my life anymore. 

6. The Grandparents are going to "take-over" my child. My baby's grandparents from both sides are just as excited. What if they will re-live their early parenthood days and not allow me to feel the beauty of being a first-time mom? But I can’t deny the fact that needed help and they know best. I can really sense clash of ideas between us soon.

7. Worry that I won't be good mother. I guess I’ll just wait for my baby so my parenting instincts will kick in. 

8. Worry if we could provide. We are definitely challenged to offer the best of this world. The protection, the comfort, a good future, the necessary guidance, and less the fear of being alone.

9.  Going back to Med School. Being a “supposedly Soon-to be MD” (currently a Mom-to be), out of school and a super bum for that matter, I doubt if going back to school will still be an option after I gave birth. Although I have plans, going back won’t be easy anymore. I wonder who will look after my child and if I am strong enough to sacrifice.

10. The least I could ever think of is my physique. I’ve been feeling looking exhausted becoming the most ugly woman in our town. I never seen the motherly glow they’ve been talking about.  I got this nose like of Rudolph the red-nose reindeer; I got swollen ankles, my neck turned dark, etc.. Don’t get me wrong, I am not the kind of a supermodel neither the beach bum who wears two-piece prior my pregnancy. I’m not, but confidence lessened a bit. I’m starting to hate skinny pretty ladies my age.
  
Albeit all these fears is the simple truth that I am overjoyed. I know I can do better than all these. Looking forward to see my first born sometime in August. 

Saturday, June 04, 2011

Craving

All of the sudden I crave for a ripe mango!!!
Mangoes are my favorite fruit of all so this is  just a little bit of a random food craving(?)...
So random since I conceived...
I wished your dad is here
I want to eat Manga this early! 
it's 12:43 am, it's raining so hard and no one is going to buy for me...but even if there is, for God sake this is IBAJAY and the marketplace here closes as early as five in the afternoon.
Argh!
I hate this experience, every time I close my eyes all I see is M.A.N.G.O.
See you in my dreams my ever dearest mangoes...

Thursday, June 02, 2011

Saying goodbye to them...

The top ten list I used to get pleasure from...
  1. A comfortable couch and a hot Caramel Macchiato with friends at our favourite Coffee shop
  2. Cold buckets and towers of beer with small talks and loud laughs
  3. Smoke "yosi break" whenever the night became like a crap
  4. A way to say goodbye to a bad hair day—Spend a day at beauty salon to feel good again
  5. Scream or laugh out loud inside a movie house all by myself with a bag of M&M’s and a cup of mango shake (that's my personal choice)
  6. Night swimming with good friends and even a week at the beach which means sunset and Sunrise everyday
  7. Rant all I can at blogger.com
  8. Road trips and food trips, still with good friends
  9. Greet my friends “Good Morning” via SMS everyday
  10. My beauty rituals—Whitening and slimming products among others
The top ten things above will just be part of my young and free life.

My good bye to all! *sniff* because I’m going to make a new and different list of top ten things to enjoy in no time *wink-wink*


Baby, I hope we could have all the time in this world to enjoy together. I know its impossible if I think of being a practical mom. I have to work or do things for our future. but then, i promise you I'll be spending quality moments with you.
I loveyou so much baby 

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