Thursday, September 22, 2011

"1 month, 2 weeks and 3 days old" Update

My Dear Charlotte is growing up. Sooo fast! She is now 1 month, 2 weeks and 3 days old and she changed a lot already. I’m afraid not to catch-up… the best that I can do right now is to be thankful for each moment and look forward for a better days to come. Did I already rant about how time flies these days?  I am saddened by the the fact that someday Ivy would walk away from me because she has to live a life of on her own. Quite upsetting. Let's not talk about that today. ERASE!

I know this site is becoming more of a photo blog than what is supposed to be a mailbox for my baby. I can’t remember when was the last time I wrote a letter for her.  I can hardly write anymore. I don’t want to charge Ivy for this hiatus but I guess I have to :D not an issue anyway, I’m not trading our bonding time just to write a blog post. I’ll be back on “blog hopping-ranting-just writing” in no time. Pardon us for flooding this site with lines of photos everyday. Besides, I just love taking pictures of her so much. 

How am I? Physically I am feeling a little bit but amazingly good. BRAG!
Not so good but not that bad too... Once a proud pregnant and now a proud mama to Ivy
(Click here for pictures)
The bad part comes when I talk about breastfeeding. I obviously can't produce enough milk to satisfy Ivy and bring her to a very good sleep. So I gave her 3oz of formula in the morning (not 2oz) and another 3oz in the afternoon to compensate with. 

Mentally? Well... we can start a story here… life has not turned out as I had hoped, perhaps, I dreamed big and expected much thus I am quite disappointed with what I got today. Still, all that dissatisfaction is nothing every time I watch at my baby grows up…my dear precious tiny little baby. 

Sure, I am struggling a little bit for something that is not pleasant for being a mother. The road of this extraordinary kind of journey is not what I expected. Whew! Simple things, which are an obligation actually drives me so crazy! I was crying about my inability to get things done. It can take me hours to finish laundry because I have a demanding baby who always wanted a mama on her side 24/7. These past days became exhausting—doing the laundry, preparing baby’s bath, sterilizing feeding bottles, trying to clean the room, iron baby’s clothing and down the line while taking care of her. I just cannot accomplish those simple things—not yet. Going crazy here… I get angry so easily and I am trying to fight despair. I don’t want to get discourage so the challenge is to relax myself… inhale… exhale… whew! Everything is going to be fine. Being a mom is surely an exhausting job (gibbering this early)… can’t help but rant and rant.

But guess what… seeing my baby’s smile is such a reward… that dazzling sweet smile even though toothless :D.  
I bet she can now she me, hear my voice even. Hey baby! Mama is here!  just love those grin she tried to wear each time I talk to her. You see, she is not irritable at all times.My sweet Ivy!

What else should you know about her? Her usual sleeping pattern has not change yet. Sometimes she sleep the whole day and also sleep  the whole night *knock on woods* Knock on woods for a selfish mama :D Ivy has her own grumpiness every time she is awake that is why I rather want her sleeping most of the time (bad mama). She frantically screams her lungs out, believe me! I guess I need some pacifier here! She always wanted to suck as if she cannot live without something in her mouth.
Seriously, this 2:50 to 8:40 PM sleep has no meltdown after having a 4-hour sleep in the morning
(click here for pictures)
Ivy no longer wear newborn clothes and wears onesies most of the time. she look great (at least for me). 

(Click here for pictures)
Of course, Ivy got some moves… a very powerful one! She became stronger unlike before, kicking me at times :D and obviously gained more weight by now. 
Update for this site?... I disabled right clicking so readers won't be able to download our pictures (just assuming someone is interested).

and what is new right at this very moment? Ivy had fallen asleep while I'm here at blogoshpere. ON HER OWN! yay!
Time to sleep... past our bed time. good night :)

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